Amusement Corner

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Is proof reading a dying art??


"Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter"

Clever chap!


"Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says"

Really?

 

"Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers"

Now that's taking things a bit far

 

"Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over"

What a guy!


"Miners Refuse to Work after Death"

No-good-for-nothing lazy so-and-so's!!


"Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant"

See if that works any better than a fair trial

 

"War Dims Hope for Peace"

Can see where it might have that effect

 

 "Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures"

Who would have thought!


"Enfield Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide"

They may be on to something

  

"Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges"

You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?

 

"New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group"

Weren't they fat enough?


"Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft"

That's what he gets for eating those beans.


"Kids Make Nutritious Snacks"

Do they taste like chicken?

 

"Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half"

Chainsaw Massacre all over again


"Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors"

Boy, are they tall!


"Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead"

Is that a fact?



GYPSIES AT THE PEARLY GATES


40 Gypsies arrive at the Pearly Gates in their vans and caravans.

 

St Peter goes into the gatehouse and phones up God - “I've got 40 gyppos here. Can I let them in?”


God says, “We're over quota on gyppos, go out and tell  them to choose between them which are the 12 most worthy and I will let just the dozen in.”

 

Two minutes later St Peter is on the phone to God again - “They've gone”, he tells God.


“What? All 40 of them?”

 

“No, the pearly gates!”


Sex Insurance

 

You can now get sex insurance in the UK, but make sure you get the correct insurance for the sex you are having.


Please find a list of companies below catering for most tastes .......


Sex with your wife  - Legal & General

  

Sex on the telephone   - Direct Line


Sex with your partner   - Standard Life


Sex with someone different   - Go Compare


Sex with a lady of generous proportions   - More Than

 

Sex with a prostitute   - Commercial Union


Sex with your maid   - Employer's Liability


Sex with a pensioner   - Saga


Sex resulting in pregnancy   - General Accident


and finally.....................

 

Sex with a transvestite   - Confused. Com!


Make sure you are adequately covered!