Amusement Corner

A suspected Covid-19 patient is lying in bed in hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose.


A young female student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath.


"Nurse", he mumbles behind the mask, "Are my testicles black?"


Embarrassed she replies "I don't know sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."


He struggles to ask her again "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"


Concerned that he may elevate his blood pressure and heart rate she raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles in the other. She looks at them closely and says


 "There is nothing wrong with them, sir. They look fine."


The man struggled up and gently pulls off his mask-


"Thank you so much. That was wonderful.


Now listen very closely:-


"ARE - MY - TEST - RESULTS - BACK?



Those wonderful Church Bulletins!


These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced at church services:


The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water. 'The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

Next Thursday there will be try-outs for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

Pot-luck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.